


A World of Pure Imagination

by zombiekittiez



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Curses, Drabble Collection, Fantasy AU, Fic Challenge, Fluff, Gen, HQ!!FantasyWeek, Kinda Crack, M/M, Magic, Royalty AU, Silly, haikyuu fantasy week, kinda dumb, maybe longer than drabbles though tbh, overwhelmingly tsukkiyama, tags updated as week goes along, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-05 03:28:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14035206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiekittiez/pseuds/zombiekittiez
Summary: HQ!! Fantasy Week Collection!Drabble/short collection for HQ Week challenge.Day 1: Royalty: Prince Tadashi clashes with his adviser over plans for the future.Day 2: Spells/Curses: Kei must wake a Sleeping Gucci (or not)Day 3: Dark Magic: Yamaguchi has a magical mishap in Intro to Bio.Day 4: Labyrinth: Kei didn'treallywant the Goblin King to take Akiteru away.Day 5: Mythical Creatures: Kei reluctantly bonds with a unicorn.Day 6: Achievement Unlocked: Doki Doki Literature Club, Haikyuu style.





	1. Plight Your Troth

**Author's Note:**

> My first weekly challenge, so go easy on me. Self imposed rules: keep it light, keep it short. I moved up Day 8 so that Day 7: Dystopian is its own section because it is neither light nor short.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Royalty AU

“It’s time to go over the daily schedule.” Kei’s voice bodes no argument; sure and steady. Not that Tadashi _would._ Prince or no, arguing with Ser Tsukishima Kei is an exercise in futility. 

“Okay, Tsukki,” Tadashi says, rubbing the last bit of sleep from his eyes and smothering a yawn. “What’s on the agenda?”

“Breakfast in an hour with the visiting delegation from the outer territories. They want to petition the crown for assistance with the bandits that keep cutting off the trade routes.” 

Tadashi frowns. “We can do that, can’t we? The expense for the guards will be paid back by the Merchant’s Guild.” 

“With interest, probably,” Kei agrees. “It’s just a formality.” 

“Okay.” Tadashi nods, satisfied. “After breakfast?” 

“Your language lesson-“ Tadashi interrupts with a low groan. “I know that you hate it, but it’s helpful when receiving diplomats.” 

“Tsukki, how many languages do you speak?” 

Kei smirks. “Seven.” 

“So why do I need to know them myself, again?” 

“You can’t always trust your translator,” Kei points out. 

“I can trust you,” Tadashi assures him. “And you’ll always be here, won’t you?” 

“Just to make you suffer, then.” Kei says dryly. 

“As long as you’re honest,” Tadashi stretches, arms high above his head. 

“Oh, and you have a lunch date with Princess Hana of Johzenji in the formal gardens. Then your self-defense sparring in the courtyard with the Ser Tanaka before dinner. It’s a state affair, so dress formally.” 

Tadashi freezes, arms still straight up in the air. “Date,” he repeats flatly. 

“With the intention of marriage, of course.” Kei’s voice is brisk and neutral. 

“You want me to marry the Princess of Johzenji.” 

“A princess. There are two, actually. Princess Runa will be at dinner, if you’d rather.” The look Kei gives him is mildly curious at best. 

“Tsukki.” 

“Is there a problem?” Kei has the grace to sound a little guilty. 

“ _Kei._ ” 

“ _Yes?_ ” 

“You are naked in my bed. With me. Right now.” Tadashi emphasizes, giving the sheet covering them a little shake. 

“So I am,” Kei admits, sitting up all the way and putting on his glasses. 

“Because we had sex.” Tadashi emphasizes. “Last night. And, like-“ Tadashi glances at the clock on the wall, “- an hour ago?” 

“Forty-five minutes or so,” Kei corrects. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at.” 

“This isn’t a new development, Tsukki! We’ve been doing this for-“ Tadashi counts on his fingers “-two years?” 

“Twenty two months, eight days and probably-“ Kei squints at the clock-,“-six hours? Give or take.” 

“I love you.” Tadashi sounds lost. 

Kei slides out from between the sheets. “I love you, too.” Kei says fondly, pressing a kiss to the top of Tadashi’s head before reaching for his pants on the floor. “Wear the copper tunic with the sunflowers. It brings out your freckles.” 

Princess Hana is pretty, her golden-brown hair shaped attractively into a bob that emphasizes her high cheekbones. Her dress is neat and she has very nice posture. Her attention, however, is diverted the entire meal- her man-at-arms, Ser Yuuji Terushima, spends the entire session challenging passing knights to increasingly dangerous feats of strength and agility. Tadashi tries valiantly to maintain a polite conversation, but in the lull between jousting and archery he recognizes that under Hana’s annoyance and embarrassment is fondness and affection. Princess Hana is already in love. When the arrow lands in the carrot cake to his left, spattering him with frosting and raisin bits, insincere apologies flowing from Terushima’s rather ferocious grin, Tadashi figures that it might be mutual. 

At dinner, he meets Princess Runa who is very cute and sweet and seemingly terrified of men. Runa is, in fact, so spooked by Tadashi that she bursts into tears when he tries to pass her the bread basket. He is so confused. He’d thought everyone loved bread. Kei, to his left, hides a smirk behind his hand. Poorly. 

“What’s the idea, here?” Tadashi asks in a low voice as they filter out of the banquet hall. Kei blinks. 

“Were the princesses not to your liking?” He asks innocently. “What a shame. Your chamber or mine?” 

This is not, apparently, an isolated incident. Tadashi puts up with this for an alarmingly long time, even for his unusually passive nature. After the tenth disaster of a date- one where they’d tried to kill two birds with one stone only have Duchess Yachi trail after Countess Shimizu for a romantic walk in the rose garden while Tadashi finished all the crab puffs by himself- the Prince finally breaks down. It’s time to call out the big guns. 

“You know, when I said you could tell me anything and I was happy to help because I think of you as another little brother, _I did not sign up for this._ ” Viscount Akiteru groans into the household records. “I meant like helping you pick out Christmas presents, or asking Prince Uncle Tadashi to watch the baby while Saeko and I have a date night sometime.”

“Do you think maybe he’d bored of me?” Tadashi muses. “If I’m happily married and knocking boots with a cute royal somewhere, he wouldn’t have to feel bad about dumping me, right? Do you think this is a sex thing?” 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about-“ Akiteru begins, but Tadashi continues, unheeding. 

“I mean, it’s always great for me… and really, he seems to still be into it. Why, just this morning before he told me about the high tea with Lady Eiri, he did that thing with his tongue where he-” 

“Okay, I am officially checking out of this conversation. Bury me among the expense reports,” Akiteru announces, putting his head on the desk and pulling a folder overtop, spilling papers along the sides. 

“You’re being dramatic,” Tadashi sniffs. “Sex and attraction is often part of a healthy romantic relationship.”

Akiteru lets out a long-suffering sigh and pulls himself free of the paperwork. “Tadashi, why do _you_ think Kei is setting up these marriage meetings? He’s your direct advisor- no one can give him orders except you. So he’s doing this on purpose.” 

“I don’t know,” Tadashi admits. 

“Well, think about it.” Akiteru glances at the clock on his wall. “While you’re headed to your next date, by the way. You’re already ten minutes late.” 

Lady Eiri is cute and punctual. She is also allergic to dogs. She thinks they are _noisy_ and they _smell._ This time, Tadashi is the one to storm off in disgust. 

“You are doing this on purpose,” Tadashi accuses wildly, bursting into Kei’s study. Akiteru and Kei are discussing the guard rotation as their liege lord collapses into a high backed chair. He doesn’t look much like a Prince at the moment- a little too sweaty and hysterical, maybe. 

“Doing what on purpose?” Kei raises an eyebrow. 

“You are deliberately picking the least compatible girls in the land, or I am completely losing it.” Tadashi tugs on his bangs in frustration. 

“He’s deliberately picking the least compatible girls in the land,” Akiteru says dryly, picking up a paper off of Kei’s desk and holding it out. “He made a list, the nerd.” 

“ _Aki._ ” Kei looks utterly betrayed. 

“What? It was a stupid plan, Kei. Tadashi’s about to have a heart attack, and then it’ll be civil unrest unless he names an heir. I can’t let the country fall to ruins because you can’t talk to your boyfriend about your gooshy feelings.” 

“You said you wouldn’t tell,” Kei sulks, sitting behind his desk. 

“Yeah, well, all bets are off when Tadashi starts telling me about that thing you do with your tongue.” Tadashi jumps to his feet, cutting off Kei’s mortified groan. 

“Oh! You’re worried because I don’t have an heir. Tsukki, don’t be ridiculous. I don’t need to be _married_ for that. I just need a woman willing to give me a child.” Tadashi rises to his feet, good mood restored. He claps Kei on the shoulder cheerfully before striding out of the door, list in hand. Kei turns murderous eyes on his brother. 

“You absolutely did this to yourself,” Akiteru says sternly, though he wilts a little under the gaze anyway. 

Later that night, Kei hears a knock at his door. He is surprised to see Tadashi there, already in his pajamas. 

“I guess it’s your place tonight, eh?” Tadashi laughs a little to himself as he lets himself in, shutting the door behind himself. 

“I figured you’d be busy finding yourself a mistress,” Kei snarks halfheartedly. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tsukki, I knew exactly who to speak to. It’s all been settled. Honestly, I don’t know why you always have to be so difficult. Now come to bed, it’s late.” Kei does not sleep a wink. 

The castle notices, of course. Prince Tadashi certainly is looking well, isn’t he? He’s always singing as he goes along like he’s in a good mood. And when he’s well rested like that, doesn’t his skin look nice and tan? Poor Ser Tsukkishima, though. He’s looking a bit wan. Probably needs to eat more vegetables. Whatever could it be? 

“You’re being unusually cruel, Tadashi,” Akiteru notes a few days later, watching Kei nearly walk into a marble pillar in a daze of tired misery. 

“I’ve been hanging around your brother for years, I was bound to pick up a trick or two,” Tadashi answers breezily. “And anyway, it’s payback.” 

The morning of the coronation ceremony, Kei walks Tadashi to dais with a face like he’s walking to his execution. Tadashi practically skips. 

“You are really looking forward to this, aren’t you?” Kei asks in a low voice. Tadashi beams. 

After the crowning and the cheering and the usual cries of hip-hip-hooray! King Tadashi motions for silence to give his first speech. He begins very nicely by thanking everyone for coming and hoping it wasn’t too boring listening because half the ceremony is in Latin which Tadashi doesn’t know either. Then, with a little glance at Kei, he takes a deep breath. 

“For my first act as King, I must name an heir. This would be easiest if I were married, but I’m not. And I’m not interested in marrying a woman in any case, noble or not.” 

“Gay,” coughs someone in the back. 

“So as is proper, I name my closest kin, cousins of the Tanaka clan. Ser Tanaka is uninterested in the title-“ 

“Being a Knight is ten thousand times cooler,” Tanaka explains to the crowd. “Heavy lies the crown that wears the head. Hamlet. King Lear. Whatever. ”

“-so it falls to his sister, the Lady Saeko, wed to Viscount Akiteru, oldest of the House of Tsukishima. Which is great because I think of little Kenta as my own already and so I am naming him my heir.” He looks over at Kei, whose mouth had dropped slightly open. “Because I’m not getting married. To a woman. Like, ever.” 

“Gay,” someone coughs, a bit louder this time.

“Ser Suga, _please._ ” Tadashi sighs, rolling his eyes and grabbing Kei’s hand. Kenta, eighteen months old, waves a chubby arm at the crowd. Everyone cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I actually wrote like four versions of this. You can check out one alternate version on my [tumblr](https://zombiekittiez.tumblr.com/post/172067569177/hq-fantasy-week-day-1) if you're interested.


	2. Sleeping Gucci

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Spells/Curses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this, though Tsukki's way more tsundere than I usually write him.

Kei looks down at Yamaguchi who is arranged very nicely on the stack of gym mats in the storage room, his hands folded across his chest. For a moment, he looks kind of dead, which does a weird twisting thing to Kei’s lungs that thankfully clears up as soon as Yamaguchi gives a snort and a huff, rolling onto his side.

“Aw, man,” Hinata grumbles. “It took us like twenty minutes to get him to lay right.” 

“Sleeping Beauty curse,” Kei echoes Suga dubiously. Suga flicks his wrist and his hand is full of magic sparks. He blows them gently until they float over Yamaguchi, lighting in little splashes of gold when they touch down and then fading quickly. Kei is irritated to notice that the light lingers over Yamaguchi’s freckles for a bare second longer than the rest of him. Yamaguchi swipes at his face, nose twitching. He snorts again. The magic sight fades. Kei has no idea what any of this shit means. 

“Definitely probably,” Suga says, patting Kei on the arm. 

“And this is my problem _how?_ ” Kei asks, crossing his arms. The team stares at him. He can practically hear the crickets chirping. He looks away for a moment, trying to maintain his cool, but he can feel the tips of his ears getting red. Damn his fair complexion to hell and back. 

“Well, other than the obvious reasons, _you_ gave him the green tea chocolate, didn’t you? From your Valentine’s Day confession gifts.” Daichi prods. 

“I may have shared my chocolate like a good friend.” Kei allows. 

“Because you hate green tea,” Noya corrects. He crouches down to peer into Yamaguchi’s face, which irritates Kei even further. He is at least gratified to notice that Noya doesn’t have all that far down to go, which brings a tiny smile to his face before he remembers what’s happening and goes back to hating his feelings and everyone else in the room who isn’t Yamaguchi. 

“You’re thinking something mean, aren’t you?” Hinata asks. 

“It’s the green tea chocolates.” Suga says, assured. 

“How can you even tell?” Kei shoots back. 

Suga moves to flick his wrist again but Kei sighs loudly and Suga takes pity on him, dropping the mystical schtick for the moment. Like, okay, you’re a witch or whatever, big whoop. Kei could care less about magic. 

Well. 

He glances at Yamaguchi who sleepily scratches under his shirt like a slob. 

Most days he could care less about magic. 

“They’re right the hell here! He ate two and passed out.” Tanaka kicks the box beside the stack of mats and three squashy chocolates fall out. They look gross. This is really Yamaguchi’s fault for being such a trashcan. Green tea chocolate, floppy sad French fries, melted milkshakes because _they’re too thick to drink properly the normal way, Tsukki!_ It’s so irritating watching him eat. Kei doesn’t know why he does it every day at lunch and maybe three times a week at dinner and some after practice snacks and maybe breakfast sometimes, fuck. 

“I guess he is a little harder to wake up than normal,” Kei concedes, as Noya pokes Yamaguchi’s cheek. 

“I stabbed him with a pencil,” Kageyama says flatly. Kei feels a muscle in his jaw twitch. 

“Don’t worry, Tsukishima! I patched him right up.” Yachi holds up the first aid kit, looking very pleased with herself. There is, indeed, a Hello Kitty band-aid on Yamaguchi’s upper arm, just below his sleeve. Jesus. The next time Kageyama asks for tutoring help, Kei’s going to stab a pencil in his _eye._

“Why don’t you all just leave him the fuck alone,” Kei says, voice tight. 

“Well, yeah.” Hinata blinks up at him. “That’s why we came to get you.” 

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Kei asks. 

“Wake him up,” Asahi suggests. He wilts a little under Kei’s glare. “Just an idea,” he whispers, turning to trace shapes nervously in the volleyball he is holding. 

“It’s a Sleeping Beauty curse, Tsukishima,” Suga says gently. 

“I’m aware.” Kei snaps. Daichi raises an eyebrow because, seriously, who the hell snaps at Suga? 

Suga does not seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile grows. “Well, a true love’s kiss should break it.” 

Kei doesn’t dignify that statement with an answer, turning his face away indifferently again. This time he can feel the flush traveling down his ears to the back of his neck. Bullshit traitor body. 

Daichi claps Suga on the shoulder. “Okay, no problem. Clearly, we were wrong. It’s an honest mistake, can happen to anyone. No reason to think Tsukishima would be Yamaguchi’s true love.” Kei bristles. “But we need our pinch server. Tell you what, let’s all just give it a try before practice. What do you say, team?” The team gives a resounding cheer- even Kinoshita and Narita, who barely have any input. 

“I could be his true love,” Kinoshita says conversationally. “We’re always in the sidelines on the court. We spend a lot of quality time together, is all I’m saying.” 

“He shared his tamagoyaki with me once, when we were at the training camp and I said it was my favorite.” Narita puffs out his chest.

“I dunno, guys. Yamaguchi did say some bald guys were hot, eh, Ryu?” Noya elbows Tanaka in the side. 

“Shimizu will always be _my_ true love, but I can see why Yamaguchi can’t help but fall for my manly charms.” Tanaka poses and Kei seriously considers kicking him in the face, just the one time. 

“Wouldn’t Yachi be the natural choice?” Ennoshita wonders. The rest of the team snicker. “What?” 

“Listen, Chika.” Noya waves him down. “Yamaguchi’s the kinda gay who doesn’t know if he wants to be you or bang you, dig? Ask about Yachi and he’ll say, ah, she’s cute and a good manager.” Yachi giggles and blushes and Kei sort of wants to kick her too, just maybe in the shin and not all that hard. 

“Ask about Tsukishima though-” Tanaka claps Kei on the back. Hard. He lets out a little uumph of displeasure. Also maybe pain. Kei bruises easily, okay? 

“Who’s asking!” Hinata crows. “He’ll just tell you-”

“Tsukki’s so tall,” Kageyama deadpans. 

“Tsukki’s so smart,” Asahi adds, behind his volleyball. 

“Nice, Tsukki!” Kinoshita and Narita chime in together. 

“Tsukki’s cool,” Yachi squeaks. 

“Stylish,” Daichi ticks off. 

“Funny,” Suga grins. 

“Strong,” Tanaka goes to hit Kei again, but he manages to sidestep this time. 

“The best!” Hinata shouts. 

The sound echoes in the small space, dying off with a surprising finality. The resulting silence is awkward. Kei usually flings a well-timed insult or snide remark whenever things are awkward, but the only thing he can think to say is _Yamaguchi has extremely poor taste,_ but he can’t say that for roughly a half a dozen reasons. He takes a moment to catalogue them.

1) Yamaguchi is passed out and unable to defend himself, and while this is _absolutely no excuse_ for basically anyone who isn’t Yamaguchi, it is, in fact, Yamaguchi. So.  
2) It is, in a roundabout way, insulting Kei. His style is usually a little more subtle about his disenchantment with himself. Kind of. He tries.  
3) Because of number two, it might prompt the team into some kind of misguided and horrifying _Defense of Tsukishima Kei,_ and he cannot stand one more compliment, sincere or no. He is complimented out for the day, thanks.  
4) It would prove them right, their thinking that Yamaguchi might maybe like Kei a little more than is strictly platonic dude best friend-ish. Kei hates proving anyone right at any given time. He tries to make it as rare an occurrence as possible.  
5) One of them will definitely one hundred percent tell Yamaguchi when he wakes up.  
6) And then Yamaguchi will be sad because it sounds very much like Kei doesn’t like Yamaguchi. Which, you know. He doesn’t _not_ like Yamaguchi. It’s just. Yeah. 

“Ah, but that’s assuming things again, isn’t it?” Daichi says, voice far too kindly and understanding. Kei likes Daichi, okay? He’s the dad he’s never had, the best male role model since Akiteru dropped the ball literally and figuratively, but, like most dads, he is being insufferable at the moment and Kei kind of hates him. 

“Who’s up first, then? I nominate Suga.” Daichi says, clapping a hand on Suga’s shoulder supportively. 

“Me?” Suga looks surprised. “Why me?” 

“Everyone’s a little bit in love with you, at least for five minutes.” Asahi agrees. Kei knows 100% what they mean but also is very against this being Yamaguchi’s five minutes right now. Suga kneels. Before he can lean in, Kei throws his arms over Yamaguchi, blocking the way like Suga is an errant spike. 

“Oh? Did you not want anyone else to kiss Yamaguchi?” Suga asks, feigning surprise. Poorly. Kei glares up at him. 

“That’s not fair!” Hinata yelps. “If you don’t wanna kiss Yamaguchi, let one of us do it!” 

“You want to stick your tongue down his throat that bad?” Kageyama asks dubiously. 

“You’re so crude! Yamaguchi’s cute. Besides, I want him to be awake so we can all go play together.” Hinata bounces in place and Kei knows if he lets his guard down, Hinata’s mouth will be on Yamaguchi’s mouth before he can call the shrimp a shrimp. Unacceptable. He won’t allow it. 

“Don’t you want him to wake up, Tsukishima?” Shimizu speaks up for the first time, looking up from her clipboard. “Or is this fine?” 

Kei falters. He glances down at the sleeping boy, who somehow has managed to get a hunk of his own hair in his mouth. It’s pretty terrible. This is why he gets split ends, Kei keeps telling him. What if Yamaguchi stays this way? It’ll certainly be quieter. No more _Tsukkis_ or embarrassing oversharing or having to take the long way back because it crosses through the dog park. No more of Yamaguchi’s stupid pretty hands with their clean rounded fingernails or his stupid cute freckles or his stupid dumb nice shoulders. Not unless someone else puts their face on Yamaguchi’s face and if that does happen, Kei’ll probably have to do something really uncool, like fight for Yamaguchi’s hand or whatever and get his shit kicked in because he’s a skinny asshole who’s never taken a real punch in his life goddammit. 

“You are so much trouble,” Kei mutters, tugging the gross, sodden strands free of Yamaguchi’s mouth. He gets some spit on his hands but he just wipes them on Yamaguchi’s jacket. “So noisy and annoying.” As an afterthought, he lifts a corner and dabs at Yamaguchi’s mouth all over. He wants as little of Yamaguchi’s spit on him as humanly possible, which sort of defeats the point of kissing, probably, but what the fuck does Kei know. “I’m not even all that great. I bet I’m a really shit boyfriend,” he warns Yamaguchi, tilting his chin gently until they are face to face. “But I guess this is fine.” Kei presses his lips to Yamaguchi, who mutters a little and shifts, mouth open. He tastes like green tea. It’s okay, Kei decides. 

“That confession was horrible,” Hinata whisper shouts. “Why does Yamaguchi even like him?!” 

“He has extremely poor taste,” Kageyama says and Kei is definitely going to jab a pencil in that guy’s eye at some point, he means it. 

Yamaguchi lets out a little whimper and opens his eyes dreamily before closing them again. He smiles against Kei’s lips, hands coming up to cup the sides of Kei’s face to kiss back. It’s… kind of nice for a bit, then Yamaguchi figures out that he’s actually awake and this is a thing and quits breathing. Kei has to stop kissing and thwack Yamaguchi on the back several times to get him to start up again. 

“Does that mean you’re really good or really bad at kissing?” Noya wonders.

“Alright, time for practice!” Daichi announces, _literally saving Noya’s life_ and leading everyone else back to the court. Now Kei’s going to have to sit in the storage room with his dumb best friend probably boyfriend now and talk about _feelings_ and he eyes the green tea chocolates a little forlornly. A magically induced coma sounds pretty good right now. Vaguely, Kei wonders who hates him enough to curse him, but probably, he thinks, literally anyone would. Except, you know. Yamaguchi, still pink, keeps touching his lips and looking at Kei with huge sparkling eyes full of love and devotion and idiot Kei is looking right the hell back. 

He should have just joined the swim team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chocolates were from Suga.


	3. What is Dead May Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Dark Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _really_ liked the idea of writing something sweet around a power considered kind of evil and dark, so I might do something like this again later!

Tadashi nicked his thumb with the scalpel during his bio lab. 

“Ouch,” he said, unnecessarily. Usually he just stuck his bleeding body part into his mouth and called it a day, but as he was still wearing a pair of rubber gloves liberally coated in formaldehyde, he was reluctant. 

“What do I do?” He asked his lab partner, flailing a little. 

“First, you’re going to give me that scalpel,” Tsukishima said firmly, taking the sharp object and putting it safely away. He’d seemed like kind of an ass when they’d first ended paired up, but now Tadashi was ever so grateful he was taking charge. Kind of dug it, to be honest. Might be a kink. He didn’t even mind the looks of mild disgust that Tsukishima kept shooting his way over his dark, thick framed glasses. 

“You’re bleeding all over the place.” Tsukishima reached for his pocket and drew out a handkerchief. An honest to god handkerchief. Who even carried those? Laundered and everything. While Tadashi watched in a daze, several fat drops of red blood fell _plip-plop_ onto their specimen. 

“Ew,” he said, unnecessarily. That was sure to mess up their slide results. Maybe they should ask for another? Tsukishima tugged the rubber glove off of Tadashi’s hand and swiftly wrapped the handkerchief around his thumb. Tadashi grinned and wiggled his fingers. 

“Thanks a bunch, Tsuki-”

_ribbit_

“Um.” They both glanced down. Dimly, Tadashi became aware that Tsukishima’s hand was still wrapped around his wrist nicely. He’d never thought of himself as being particularly slender before, but Tsukishima’s long fingers met easily, like with one quick squeeze he could snap Tadashi’s wrist. Which was, uh. Weirdly hot? 

The frog stared up at them. Blinked. 

_ribbit_

The very very dead frog continued to look up at them. _What the hell, man,_ it seemed to say, even as it wriggled in the dish. Tadashi had only made the first shallow incision so far, but that was plenty. It was lightly pinned to the bottom of the pan to keep from sliding, so as it moved little flashes of its soft pink-gray organs showed through the skin. 

“What the hell,” Tadashi repeated back. 

The hand around his wrist _squeezed._

“Professor, we have to step out. My partner cut himself.” Tsukishima called across the room, waving Yamaguchi’s injured wrist in the air for all to see. Professor Washijo nodded curtly before turning back to the diagram. Tsukishima threw their paperwork into his bag and shoved the tray with the frog into Tadashi’s arms. He took it, dazed. 

“Gosh, I’m sorry,” Tadashi said weakly to the frog. 

_ribbit_

Tsukishima grabbed both their bags and carted Tadashi out of the lab room, down the hall to the back stairwell that no one ever took because legend said it was haunted and also it always smelled a little like old cheese. He turned to look at Tadashi, but Tadashi was looking at the floor. It seemed to be shifting a little. The colors, too, were going orange to green. It was funny. 

“Hey-“ Tsukishima’s face narrowed in what Tadashi kind of hoped was concern. 

“You’re cute when you scrunch up your eyebrows like that,” Tadashi said dreamily. Then he passed out. 

Tadashi woke up soft and warm. He stretched out, arms above his head, shirt rucking up like he only did after a really excellent nap. “Mm,” he purred, blinking lazily as he sat up, smiling a little as he looked around the room. The unfamiliar room. 

“Sleep well?” A voice heady with sarcasm. Tadashi jumped, smile slipping off his face and dashing to the floor. Tsukishima sat at his desk looking down with fierce concentration. Tadashi slid off the bed (Tsukishima’s bed, oh my _god_ ), hands reaching out to smooth the covers hastily. Had he drooled on anything? This was the worst. Tsukishima, though, still hadn’t looked up. 

“I’m sorry- er, thanks, I mean, or- how did I get here, anyway?” Tadashi stuttered. 

“How do you think?” Tsukishima asked flatly, but the back of his neck went red. Tadashi went a little red, too, imagining himself scooped up like some kind of swooning damsel which was, again. Sorta hot? Well, Tadashi was just learning all kinds of things about himself. College really was a marvelous time of self-discovery. 

“Oh,” Tadashi said quietly. Then, his eyes focused on what Tsukishima was actually doing. 

“Tsuki- is that our frog?” Yamaguchi clutched at his chest. 

Tsukishima had a travel sewing kit open on the desk, a thick spool of fuschia thread in hand as he slowly finished stitching the frog back together. The frog, still pinned, seemed to be taking this with great tranquility. 

_ribbit,_ it said to Tadashi, who thought he might faint again. He put a hand out blindly and it landed on the back of Tsukishima’s chair, fingertips trailing lightly along his spine. Tsukishima jerked in his seat. 

“Sorry, Tsuki-” 

“It’s fine.” Tsukishima interrutpted brusquely. “If you’re dizzy, lay back down.” 

Tadashi nodded to himself and moved back to the bed. Feeling shy, he curled over onto his side so he could watch Tsukishima working in profile. 

“That frog is dead,” Tadashi said. 

“Yep.” 

“It’s, like, pickled. So super dead.” 

“Mm hm.” 

“This is some kind of medical marvel.” 

“That’s so.” 

“It would be in every major medical journal. Like this is huge. Huge!” 

“Right. But we’re not telling anybody.” Tsukishima sat back, tying off the little knot of pink thread. His stitches were neat and orderly and Tadashi admired them openly. 

“We’re not?” Tadashi asked, surprised. 

Tsukishima left the frog neatly pinned to the tray on his desk. After a momentary hesitation, he perched on the edge of the bed beside Tadashi. 

“Why do you think that our frog reanimated? What happened that was different than any of the other thousands of students who have had to do this?” 

Tadashi frowned. Tsukishima reached over and plucked Tadashi’s hand off of the pillow, holding it gently. Tadashi’s face burned. 

“This.” Tsukishima tapped a soft finger against the edge of the handkerchief bandage still wrapped around Tadashi’s thumb. Tadashi blinked. 

“Me?” Tadashi asked, wonderingly. He tried sitting up slowly with some success. 

“You,” Tsukishima confirmed. “I think, anyway. Though some tests might be in order.” 

“Tests?” Tadashi parroted. 

“If you want.” Tsukishima said. “Aren’t you curious?” 

_ribbit_

“Poor little guy,” Tadashi said sympathetically, looking over at the frog. “What’s gonna happen to you?” 

“Can you stand okay now?” Tsukishima asked courteously. Tadashi took an experimental step. 

“Seems so. Sorry about the lab. We’ll have to redo it for the grade.” Tsukishima shrugged, reaching for his jacket. “Oh, do you need to go? I can head back to my dorm-” Tadashi looked sadly after the frog. 

“I’m just picking something up from the strip mall across from campus. Come with me, if you don’t have anything else to do.” Tsukishima waited at the door, seemingly unconcerned. 

Tadashi scrambled for his shoes, pleased they would be spending a little more time together. He couldn’t explain the feeling, but. It was like he’d bonded with this taciturn guy- getting wounded, reanimating the dead, being carried to safety. Surely they were friends now. Plus, well. Tsukishima was undeniably hot. Tadashi was perfectly aware that day one of lab, when the tall blonde had stepped to his side and said “Partners?” in that flat way, it was only to avoid the star struck girls all whispering and queuing up to make a mad dash in his direction. Tadashi had looked like he always looked- plain, unobtrusive, and absolutely no trouble. Poor Tsukishima. It was turning out that Tadashi was plenty of trouble after all.

Tadashi was unable to stop grinning when he realized where they were headed. 

“The pet store?” He turned to Tsukishima, jabbing him lightly in the arm. 

“It can’t live in a dissection tray,” he said flatly. “We need to see if it eats… if it interacts with its environment…” 

“You’re keeping him!” Tadashi was delighted. 

“I have a single room. No one will ask questions. It’s the most logical arraignment for the specimen.” 

“No. Nuh-uh.” Tadashi waggled a finger on his uninjured hand. “You can’t call him _the specimen_ like that. You’ll hurt his feelings. You have to give him a name.” 

“Give the undead frog creature a name.” Tsukishima deadpanned. 

“Yes.” Tadashi nodded empathically. 

Tsukishima held the door open for him. “…Kermit.”

“Original,” Tadashi noted, still smiling. 

“You name him, then.” Tsukishima countered. 

“No, I like it. It’s cute. Kermie and Tsukki.” Tadashi beamed. 

Tsukishima shrugged, heading toward the terrariums, a slight pink tinge to the tips of his ears. 

“I don’t mind,” Tadashi said, when Kermie was settled into his new home. “Trying some tests, I mean.” Tsukishima almost smiled back. 

It probably wasn’t very good for Tadashi’s heart to think of their weird science get togethers as dates, but. Well. It had been a while since Tadashi had been on a date anyway, so he figured he’d let himself dream a little. And it was true that after taking some vitals and fussing over their decidedly un-dead pet, they usually ended up spending the rest of the evenings on something… mundane. They grabbed pizza, did course work. Tadashi even forced Tsukishima into watching ‘The Princess Bride’ when one too many of his quotes were met by a flat, blank stare. 

“Finals are next week,” Tadashi said suddenly, looking up from his textbook. 

“Genius,” Tsukishima smirked. “Good thing we’re cramming, isn’t it?” 

“No, I just meant… we won’t have any classes together next semester, will we? You’re pre-med and I’m marine biology. So it won’t make sense for us to spend so much time together. My roommate’s already asking why I need so much study time for a 100 level course.” 

Tsukishima shrugged. “Tell him we’re dating.” 

Yamaguchi dropped his pencil. “Ah hum?” He managed. 

“Tell him I asked if you wanted to be partners because I thought you were cute. Then we spent so much time studying together that now it just makes sense to date.” Tsukishima glanced up at the terrarium. “We can’t stop the experiments now. Kermit’s just starting to respond to basic commands.” 

“I think ‘hop’ isn’t really much of a command, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi rolled his eyes, getting up to tap at the glass. Kermit looked up at him balefully. “Anyway, I don’t want to lie.” 

“Okay.” Tsukishima pushed his glasses up and stood, coming over behind Yamaguchi. He leaned down enough to rest his elbow against Yamaguchi’s left shoulder. When he spoke, his breath was warm against the shell of Yamaguchi’s ear. “Tell him I asked if you wanted to be partners because I thought you were cute. Then you reanimated a frog with some obscure dark power and we spent so much time together trying to figure it out that now it just makes sense to date.” 

“Oh,” Yamaguchi said to Kermit, looking terribly pleased. He turned to say something, but Tsukishima’s face was in the way. Yamaguchi didn’t see any other options except to kiss him. 

For science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to keep these short!


	4. Dance Magic (Dance Magic Dance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Labyrinth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, this whole challenge turned into 'show how terrible of a protagonist Tsukki is cause it's funny' week.

Okay, so first of all, Kei didn’t _really_ want the Goblin King to take Akiteru away. It’s just that Kei was ten links deep down the Wikipedia cryptozoology rabbithole and Aki was being a pest and messing up his hair and looking over his shoulder all _the Loch Ness Monster isn’t a plesiosaur, Kei,_ and when Kei had gone to push him off, Aki’s elbow had smacked into the shelf, knocking the stupid snowglobe Yamaguchi had brought him back from Hawaii to the floor and breaking it. It’s a stupid snowglobe, Yamaguchi had even said so- _here’s your stupid snowglobe from Hawaii, Tsukki-_ but Kei had asked for a snowglobe souvenir from a tropical resort just to be difficult and Yamaguchi had played along and gotten him one anyway. If he’s being honest, Kei’s been extra sensitive about Yamaguchi lately for some reason that he is absolutely not going to be thinking about anytime soon. 

So Kei had looked at the snowglobe and Akiteru had looked at the snowglobe and then, seeing Kei’s face go strange and his mouth wobbling a little (stupid teenage hormones) Akiteru tried to comfort him the only way he knew how. 

“Geez, I’m really sorry, Kei. I’ll clean this up and let’s go out for dessert, my treat.” Aki gave a big beaming smile and Kei _seethed._ Kei’s a teenager, he can’t be bribed with cake anymore. Kei being Kei decided then that the most mature thing he could do in that situation was to be as immature as humanly possible. 

“I wish,” Kei said, remembering a phrase from an old storybook he’d loved, “the Goblin King really _would_ take you away.” 

So. 

“Did Akiteru go back to his apartment already? I thought he was staying over to do laundry.” Kei’s mother asks over dinner. 

“Yep,” Kei lies. “Also, can Yamaguchi stay over?” 

When Kei finishes telling Yamaguchi, he blinks twice. Then he sits forward in the desk chair, business-like. “Alright, Tsukki- what’s the plan?” 

Kei’s mouth drops open. “You mean- you actually believe me?” 

Yamaguchi rolls his eyes. “A prank like this takes way too much work and imagination. You said you got the phrase from a book? Do you still have it?” 

Kei leads the way to the attic, checking boxes in a daze while Yamaguchi lectures him. 

“-and honestly, Tsukki, you’re not a little kid anymore. You can’t just magically banish your brother because- wait, why did you curse him, exactly?”

“He broke my snowglobe.” Kei says, cringing.

“Because he broke your snowglobe. Wait. The snowglobe I bought you? It cost me like five bucks, why were you so mad?” 

“Oh look,” Kei says gratefully. “I found it.” Kei reaches for the book when Yamaguchi does and a bright white light envelops them. When the light fades, Kei stands outside a massive stone-walled maze. 

“Yamaguchi?” He calls, but his voice echoes into nothing. 

“Nope. It’s just me and you now, babe.” Kei turns at the voice to see a man in a puffy shirt and leather pants. Kuroo Testsurou lounges against a rock at an impossible angle, tossing small crystal bubbles effortlessly into the air. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Kei mutters. 

“I’m taking the form of your one true love,” Kuroo leers. “You’ve got good taste.” 

“Kuroo is _not_ my one true love.” Kei rolls his eyes. 

“He’s not?” Kuroo looks upset, dropping two of the crystals, but they hang suspended midair. “He’s definitely the hottest guy you know, though. What’s wrong with him?” 

“Not enough freckles, for one thing.” Kei says, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk. 

“Damn. Well, he’s got a nice face, so I’m sticking to it.” Kuroo shrugs. “I suppose you know the deal?” 

Kei drops his arms. “Let’s pretend the rules are in a book I haven’t read since I was seven.” 

“Fair enough. You have thirteen hours to make your way through the maze and rescue your brother or he turns into a goblin and stays with me forever.” 

“Why, though?” Kei raises an eyebrow. “If you were in love with me or whatever, you could have just. I don’t know. Sent me a text or something.” 

Kuroo laughs long and hard. Kei stares. “In love with- oh, man, excuse me, no I’m sorry- I’m sorry for laughing. Look, you’re a nice enough looking guy and everything but I mean- do you listen to yourself? You are _such_ a brat. No, no. This is just how we make more Goblins here. Spiriting away brothers. Impossible sidequests. Enchanted books released through dodgy self-publishers. That kind of thing. If you screw up, you’ll be a goblin too, double or nothing. It’s a game, and I love games.” 

“Fine, whatever.” Kei waves Kuroo off, stepping into the maze. 

“Just like that?” Kuroo calls after him. 

“Thirteen hours, right?” Kei shoots back. “To find the center of the maze and two people? I don’t have time to play with you.” 

“Seriously not cute,” Kuroo grumbles, disappearing in a swirl of cloak. 

Kei walks. Several times he comes across interesting sights- a banquet laid out in his honor; helpful talking animal companions that cavort adorably, offering tips and tricks; a replica of his home, mother waving him inside with a warm smile and an enormous strawberry shortcake, a volleyball court where his team is losing badly at nationals. 

“Oh _please,_ ” Kei grumbles, continuing on his way. 

“Hey! I _said_ I have a message for you!” A particularly persistent talking squirrel trails after him along the top of the maze wall. “What’s wrong with you? You’re supposed to be befriending magical companions and facing challenges designed to build character and inner strength in order to complete the maze!”

“Sure,” Kei turns a dazzling smile on the animal. “ _Or_ I could apply the Pledge algorithm and calculate the most direct path to the center without bothering with all that bullshit. Which do you think makes the most sense?” 

“Fucking weirdo,” the squirrel mutters, disappearing over the side. Kei keeps walking. 

“How,” Kuroo whines, “did you finish the maze in an hour and a half? That doesn’t seem humanly possible.”

“Math,” he replies.

“Kei!” Akiteru smiles and tries to wave from the corner of the palace, but as he is bound by rope it is more of a little finger wriggle. 

“I met the requirements, so can we go home now?” Kei crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Oh, sure.” Kuroo says flippantly. “I can send you home. You just have to step on that glowing sigil over there.” 

Kei, watching Kuroo a little suspiciously, frees Akiteru. Together, they step toward the green, glowing light. 

“Not forgetting anything?” Kuroo asks, materializing in front of Kei with a wicked grin. 

“What? No.” Kei recoils, shakes his head. “I came for my brother, I got him, we’re going.” 

“Right, right. Just checking. Even though you didn’t spend much time in there at all, sometimes the Labyrinth does strange things to your memories. I was just making extra double sure because, you know, _you’re_ the one who summoned the Goblin King- so once you’re gone, the way home goes too. I can’t follow you- and neither can anything else.” Kuroo watches Kei closely. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Kei asks suspiciously. 

“What? I’m always this kind.” Kuroo winks. “Ah well, if you’re sure. Just remember this conversation when you get home, Tsukishima Kei.” 

Kei moves toward the glowing light. 

“Seriously?!” A tall boy with messy hair bursts through the double doors on the other side of the room, a goblin dangling uselessly from each arm. 

“Just in time!” Kuroo says cheerfully. 

“Tadashi!” Akiteru greets cheerfully. “I didn’t know you were here.” 

“That’s okay,” the lanky boy says through gritted teeth. “Neither did Tsukki, apparently.” 

“Who-“ Kei starts but stops when the shorter boy whirls around, glaring, to shove something hard against Kei’s chest. Kei’s hands come up automatically to catch it, but he doesn’t look away from the boy with the flushed angry face. 

“I followed your stupid book, befriended a super annoying squirrel just to send a message to you, got punched no less than three times in the face by these jerkass goblin guards- _the face, Tsukki!_ \- and you forget who I am?!” 

“Freckles,” Kuroo says with dawning comprehension. 

“You _do_ have freckles,” Kei notes absently. “Did I do something? What’s with that nickname?” 

“What are you talking about? Tadashi’s always called you that, Kei.” Akiteru’s face scrunches with concern. 

“Oh. I don’t remember. This is a magic thing?” Kei glances at Kuroo who smiles encouragingly. 

“He must be pretty important to you,” Kuroo says casually. “The magic targets things important to you, after all. ” 

“It does?” Kei asks. The other boy abruptly stops glaring, instead looking a bit confused. 

“You did say I didn’t have enough freckles to be your true love,” Kuroo reminds him. 

“I did?” It sounds familiar. “I did,” Kei decides. “Tadashi, are you the only friend of mine with freckles?” 

Tadashi goes red in the face. 

“He is,” Akiteru supplies helpfully. “He’s basically your only friend, actually.” 

“I guess I’m in love with you,” Kei shrugs. “That’s fine. You’re pretty cute and I don’t mind you yelling at me. It was a little cool, honestly. Do you do that a lot?” 

“This is _amazing._ Alright, time to go.” Kuroo pushes the three of them toward the sigil. 

“Wait, just like that?” Kei asks. 

“Yep! The only thing better than getting some new recruits is the chance to play a really good prank on a human.” Kuroo grins as the sigil flashes. “Didn’t I mention? Once you go back to the mortal realm all your memories will come back! Isn’t that _the best?_ ” 

It is not, in fact, the best. 

After the light fades, the three of them stand in the center of Kei's room, close together. Kei sits heavily in his desk chair, turning his face away from the other two, trying desperately to keep his expression neutral and failing miserably. 

“Yamaguchi,“ he manages to say with great difficulty. 

“Didn’t you call me Tadashi?” The other boy asks with a cheeky grin, leaning down into Tsukishima's space. “If I’m your true love and all, I think it’s okay to use given names, don’t you?” 

“Welp,” Akiteru says, patting Tadashi on the back. “It’s a little bittersweet, but I’ll leave him in your care. My little brother, all grown up.” He pretends to wipe away a tear. 

Kei hides his face behind the book in his hands, blushing furiously. “I seriously hate both of you,” he mutters into the cover. Then he feels a light press- a brief kiss on the cheek. He drops the book in surprise. Tadashi glances anxiously from Kei to the floor, face equally flushed. 

“No you don’t,” he says. 

Kei really doesn’t.


	5. Your Name is a Golden Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Mythical Creature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An actual drabble, omg

Kei opened the front door. He looked up into the shining violet eyes of the silver-white creature. With the utmost gentleness, the creature touched its pearly horn to the center of his forehead. A warm, white light glowed between them. 

_Chosen!_ The unicorn cried. 

Kei slammed the door shut. 

~~

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Kei gritted out between his teeth. His friend, snorting wildly and clutching his sides, gasped for breath.

“Sorry, Tsu-Tsu-Tsu-” Yamaguchi collapsed again into hysterical laughter. 

“You suck,” Kei groaned. 

_It is a great honor,_ the unicorn hummed, resting its head in Kei’s lap. _Pet me, Chosen._ Kei, scowling, complied. Yamaguchi sat up, clearing his throat.

“Are you done now?” Kei asked dryly. 

Yamaguchi nodded solemnly, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. “Sorry, Tsukki. It’s just. _You._ ” 

Kei bristled. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?” 

Yamaguchi raised his hands defensively but couldn’t keep from smiling. 

“It’s not like I’ve- I’ve never-” Kei looked at the ground, feeling his ears go red. The unicorn pushed its muzzle between Kei’s arm and body with an affectionate nickering. The unicorn’s eyes met Yamaguchi’s for a moment before it let out a little whinny of disgust, shaking its mane and turning emphatically away. 

Kei’s eyes narrowed. “Yamaguchi. Why doesn’t the unicorn like you?” 

Yamaguchi blushed violently. “I don’t know, Tsukki! Maybe I’m not very likeable?” 

“Unicorns like virgins, right?” Kei asked the animal in his lap.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “Oh my _god_ Tsukki-”

 _Virginity is a social construct,_ the unicorn yawned. _Our Chosen must be pure of heart._

“Pure of heart?” Kei echoed. “Yamaguchi isn’t pure of heart?” 

Yamaguchi continued blushing but said nothing in his own defense. 

_That one,_ the unicorn flicked its tail in agitation, _has a mind filled with unspeakable things._

Kei studied Yamaguchi with renewed interest. “Does he?” Kei asked, perfectly aware that Yamaguchi couldn’t hear the unicorn’s thoughts. Yamaguchi muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘snitch,’ before crossing his arms over his chest and looking away with a huff. It’s cute when he’s pouting, Kei thought idly. He looked a much more likely candidate for a unicorn’s chosen.

 _No thanks,_ the unicorn whinnied. 

“Why me, then?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi sat in the grass, peeling a bowl of apples for the three of them, apparently unbothered by the scorn of a blessed and noble creature. Kei was a little envious, to be honest. 

_You have such lovely thoughts,_ the unicorn buzzed dreamily. _About freckles and sunsets and holding hands and sweet kisses. Ah, the romance of young love._  
Kei swore quietly, face red. 

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi looked at him curiously, mid-peel. Kei wondered, through his haze of embarrassment, just who Yamaguchi’s unspeakable thoughts featured. 

_You, of course, Chosen._ The unicorn answered, unbidden, rising to its feet. _See?_

The little white star on Kei’s forehead glowed for a second as he was flooded with a stream of images- sights, sounds. He stared at Yamaguchi’s face, a perfect picture of innocence. 

“Holy shit,” Kei said finally. “You really think about- about all that?” Yamaguchi blinked, confused- then glared, even as his hands came up to cover his flaming face.  
“Tell your dumb horse to stay out of my head,” Yamaguchi said, voice muffled. 

“Where did you even get the idea to-”

“The internet is a treacherous place, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi yelped. “And what the hell, it’s just a stupid- not like I ever thought- and, and what about you, huh?” Yamaguchi turned on him. “What does Pureheart the unicorn wrangler think about?” 

Kei reached out and took Yamaguchi’s hand. 

“Oh,” Yamaguchi said in a tiny voice. 

“Not that I don’t- or that I wouldn’t- ah.” Kei trailed off. The sun was setting over the horizon, orange and rose across Yamaguchi’s freckles. Kei ran a thumb across them. The unicorn gave a deep and contented sigh. Kei looked down at it, staring at them from only a few feet away. 

_Don’t mind me,_ it said cheerfully. _Carry on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favorite, tbh


	6. Love Love Haikyuu!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Achievement Unlocked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is weird and I played Doki Doki Literature Club too recently, I think.

Tadashi gets the email alert halfway through dinner- which is fine. He just sets the cup ramen aside and turns back to the computer like usual. With a little hum of apprehension, he boots up the inbox. He’s expecting another message from his family, telling him to come back home and try again at another school- to stop wasting his time on his own when it’s clear that Tokyo took him in, a cheerful if high strung guy, and spat out a NEET unfit for society at large. The mail from _is_ from a private user, not a company, but Tadashi has to mull over the link for moment before recognition kicks in. Ah, from the message board! He remembers now. He’d just finished a playthrough of _Love Love Haikyuu!!_ the latest dating sim from indie developer Karasuno. Tadashi isn’t a hardcore gamer or anything, but what he plays he likes to play well, collecting all the trophies and exploring all the alternate endings. It’s a sweet game with lots of cute girls to romance: the shy girl-next-door Hitoka, the cool glasses senpai Kiyoko, tough delinquent girl Saeko, athletic tomboy Yui and Russian transfer student Alisa. Tadashi had romanced them all. They were all pretty fun storylines, but there was one game mechanic that really bugged him. In every storyline, the girl had to be wooed away from her first love- Tsukishima. 

Who was Tsukishima? Class rep, volleyball team captain, top of the class Tsukishima- Tadashi’s rival. Well, his character anyway. Man, what a jerk. If Tadashi made the wrong choices during a playthrough, his dream girl would stay after practice to confess to Tsukishima instead, leading to a game over. Tadashi had to try and try- guessing the right birthday present, when to crack a joke or be serious, what the girl’s favorite food and movie might be… Tsukishima just had to show up. Which, yeah, Tadashi’s avatar might be a little generic- weren’t all dating sim guys?- but they really had done a good job designing Tsukishima. He was tall with glasses and this short cut blonde hair that curled just a little. He had the brightest gold eyes, too. Way cooler than Tadashi’s. Cuter than any of the girls, too, honestly. Weird way to think about that, hey? 

Anyway, he’d been scrolling through a message board dedicated to the game just to make extra double triple sure that he wasn’t missing any other achievements when he’d gotten the idea. Through the first playthrough, he’d been pretty mad at Tsukishima- swooping in all cool to get the girls to pay attention to him instead. But as Tadashi had unlocked more and more content he started feeling a little bad. In the background animations, Tsukishima was always alone unless a girl was chatting him up. He didn’t seem to have any friends or good relationships. Why go to the all the trouble of making such a detailed character and not do anything with him? The few player interactions showed him to be a smart guy- witty, interesting. A real guy like that would surely have a ton of friends. Over time, Tadashi started seeing him less like Ito and the others, the ones who had driven Tadashi to drop out of school, and maybe a little more like Tadashi himself. Alone, no matter how many people were around. How dumb. It was only a game. 

Still, Tadashi had posted, asking if there was a code or achievement for romancing Tsukishima.  
And he’s just gotten a mail reply. 

Tadashi clicks the link, expecting maybe some slurs- the online community isn’t all that accepting all the time, and he’d gotten used to hearing them back in school for being so small, so awkward, crying _just like a girl-_

The mail is from user aki11. There’s a link to a patch that is probably a virus and two words: Good Luck.

It’s a stupid idea. It’s probably a trap. Tadashi is a computer nerd, he _knows_ better. 

Still. 

It’s hard to have an interesting life when just walking to the convenience store is an act of sheet will.  
Maybe he should take a risk for once in his life. 

Tadashi clicks the link. 

~~  
Tadashi sits at a desk in a clean, white classroom. A dream, go figure. The patch must have been a dream too. Maybe he fell asleep over his ramen. 

“Watch out!” a female voice calls before he is abruptly bowled over. 

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!” Yui looks down at him, offering a hand. “Yamaguchi, let me buy you an ice cream on the way home as an apology.” Day Five, Yui storyline B, Tadashi notes. 

“You don’t have to, I don’t want to impose.” Tadashi responds automatically.

“Oh, I insis-“ Yui is interrupted when Hitoka slips over. 

“A-are you going for ice cream? I thought we were going to study in the library-“ Hitoka’s eyes widen. “B-but that’s okay, you’re probably fine, I mean, you’re really smart so you don’t need me to tutor you after all, I guess-“ 

“Tutoring? This guy?” Saeko laughs, leaning heavily on Hitoka’s shoulder. “He’s ditching class with me!” 

Oh god, Tadashi thinks. Day Six, Hitoka storyline C. Day Two, Saeko storyline A. A hand closes in on Tadashi’s arm and yanks. 

“I need to borrow him,” Tsukishima says, looking down imperiously. He frog-marches Tadashi down the corridor and away from the girls, whose voices fade into the distance. Around the corner, Tadashi is dragged into the restroom and slammed against the wall so hard it hurts. “Who,” Tsukishima says in a low, dangerous voice, “the fuck are you?” Tadashi blinks. His back stings. “Why does everyone know you? Why is everyone acting like you’ve always been here?” Tsukishima urges, giving Tadashi a little shake. This frees Tadashi’s hands and he reaches up - slapping himself hard on both cheeks. 

“Ow,” he whimpers. “Oh, this isn’t a dream.” Tsukishima, momentarily stunned, loosens his grip. Tadashi rushes over to the mirror. He’s wearing the school uniform from the game- a gakuran. He’s always liked those better than the Catholic style of his old school, and it looks good on him, even if the rest of him is the same plain freckled guy. “Oh god, oh no.” He quietly freaks out. 

“There’s something wrong here,” Tsukishima continues, coming up behind Tadashi. “This school- there’s something wrong with it. The people in it, and the girls-” 

“I’m- how is this even- what- what did that patch even _do_!?” Tadashi’s voice rises, bordering on hysteria. 

“Hey!” Tsukishima thunders. Tadashi cringes away, breath coming fast and shallow. Tsukishima grabs him again. “Calm down.” Tadashi shakes his head. 

Tsukishima hugs him. 

When was the last time someone hugged Tadashi? Maybe his mother, before he moved out on his own- before the stuff happened at school, before he became a disappointment. Warm, maybe a little bony. Something about being the smaller one is soothing. Tadashi’s breathing evens out. 

“Okay,” Tsukishima says, pulling back, ears pink. “Try telling me that again.” 

Tadashi tells him. 

~~

“You’re taking this really, really well. “ Tadashi eyes Tsukishima warily. 

Tsukishima adjusts his glasses. “I have had this feeling of… _wrongness_ for a while. Maybe I should think you’re crazy, but it sounds… right. And anyway, you don’t look crazy or like a liar.” Tsukishima studies Tadashi intently. “What was that patch supposed to do?” 

Tadashi goes pink. “It was to let me, uh, romance an otherwise unavailable character,” he says carefully. 

“Who?” Tsukishima asks. “Aren’t all the girls an option?” 

Tadashi goes red. 

“…. _me?_ ” Tsukishima’s voice in incredulous. “Are you serious? Why would you even want that?” 

Tadashi studies the floor tiles intently. He jumps when a fist hammers on the doorframe outside. 

“Tsukishima! You can’t hog him to yourself forever, you know.” Saeko’s voice outside has an edge to it. “And I ain’t the type to be too shy coming into the men’s room, you know?”

“This is weird,” Tadashi says quietly, backing up. “I don’t remember that dialogue.” Tsukishima moves to the window and opens it silently, motioning Tadashi over. The two climb through, dropping softly to the grass below. 

“Come on, to the gym,” Tsukishima starts to lead the way but Tadashi grabs his wrist, pulling them both out of sight just as Yui rounds the corner. 

“Yamaguchi!” She calls, desperately. “Ice cream!” 

“Dashi!” a voice close behind them, near the literature club room. They duck into the bushes. A tall, silver haired girl walks by. “My Dashi,” she purrs, her hands clenching and unclenching as she walks. Nicknames? This is all off script. Tadashi doesn’t like the way the muscles are standing out in her arms as she paces by. 

“You dated all these girls?” Tsukishima whispers, shaking his head. “You’ve got screwy taste.” 

“They weren’t like this!” Tadashi hisses back. “They were- nice, or something.” 

“You still have screwy taste,” Tsukishima counters. “If you’re trying to date me.” 

Tadashi meets his gaze. “Why?” He asks. “Why is it any weirder dating you than anyone else?” 

“Found you!” Alisa’s face appears above them, smiling widely, showing all the neat, sharp teeth. 

“Go!” Tsukishima pushes Tadashi out of the bushes and the two stumble into a sprint. As they pass the library, Kiyoko looks out at them, face pressed to the glass. 

“Why are you still helping me? They’ll leave you alone if you stop,” Tadashi bends over double, trying to catch his breath. He’s not an athlete, dammit. He’s a nerd and a weakling, a wuss and a coward but he’s damned if he’s taking a guy like Tsukishima down with him- program or no. Tadashi tries also to ignore the voices calling his name- slowly coming closer and closer. 

“Why did you download that patch?” Tsukishima counters. “Even though you knew it might mess your computer up?” 

“I wanted to. I was lonely and I just wanted to,” Tadashi confesses, still panting for breath. “I want my life to change. I want to like myself. I want someone special and smart and cool and funny like you to like me too.” The voices come from all sides- the two of them are surrounded. The girls snarl and snap like dogs, hands like claws. 

“Fine,” Tsukishima says roughly. “You better take responsibility, then.” 

As the girls close in, Tsukishima grabs Tadashi by the collar and kisses him.

~~ 

“A dream, huh?” Tadashi’s mother’s voice drifts through the phone. “Well, whatever it is, I’m really happy you’re willing to go back and give school another try.” 

“I have to go, Mom,” Tadashi says softly, saying his goodbyes and hanging up the phone. It’s not ideal, needing to speak to someone walking all the way up to the gates like this, but it’s a start. A new school, a new semester, a new chance. Ever since he’d opened his eyes a week ago, sprawled across his keyboard, he’d been restless. Tadashi has decided to want things and to try for the things he wants, even if some things are impossible. 

“Excuse me,” a bored voice comes from behind Tadashi. He turns slowly, feeling a sudden drop all around him. It’s like time stands still. 

“Do you know where the office is?” The tall blonde in the gakuran looks down at Tadashi with indifferent, honey eyes. A heartbeat. Tadashi swallows. 

“No, ah. I’m new. It’s my first day.” Tadashi manages, not looking away. Impossible. Impossible, yet… A flicker of interest, maybe recognition, behind those gold gold eyes. 

“Mine too.” 

“Let’s, um. Let’s go together?” Tadashi squeaks. 

Tsukishima falls into step beside him. “Sounds good to me,” he smirks. 

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot less fluffy than intended with 'dating sim comes alive' trope. NEET- Not in education or employed. Usually a young person dependent on their parents to survive because of an inability to take care of self. A lot of overlap with hikikomori - someone whose anxiety prevents functionality, even up to being completely house bound.
> 
> Edit: Day 7: HP AU Coda available on [tumblr!](https://zombiekittiez.tumblr.com/post/172348898437/oh-its-a-strange-magic-adventures-of-tsukki-1)

**Author's Note:**

> HMU in the comments or on [tumblr.](https://zombiekittiez.tumblr.com)


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